Vegan Horror by the Jar Healthy Vending
Updated: Jun 2
«Trick or treat
Trick or treat
Give us something good to eat
If you don't
We don't care
We'll put red ants in your hair
Trick or treat
Trick or treat»
Creative team of The Jar Healthy Vending presents you our little modern day vegan horror to match the Halloween vibes and pumpkin craze. So lay back, get our delicious Butternut Daal Pot (which is basically a classier version of pumpkin) from Pollen&Grace and enjoy the spooky horror of a modern day vegan.
Attention: Only for those who can survive description of fast food.
I remember that day like yesterday, it was exactly 20 years ago, 1st of November 1999.
That morning I woke up in a cold sweat. Not that something had happened yet, but the anxiety followed me everywhere. First, I thought it was a hangover from that cheap alcohol at the students Halloween party. I felt nauseous, constipated and fed up all at once. The crave was born.
I left my room and I knew I wanted to eat what they said is good for you, but I had no idea what that “good” was. No one really did. It was the time when sandwich from Tesco paired with orange juice from concentrate in a meal deal was considered healthy. I went to the shop and was scrolling through the shelf when I realized the only thing I wanted was some ripe avocado which I used to consider food for healthy freaks only. Strangely, I had never felt so satisfied before as after eating it.
That was how I knew I wasn’t an ordinary student. I knew I was different since that day as potato chips for lunch did not sound appetizing to me ever since, unlike to the majority of others who just couldn’t survive without the crispy snack packed with artificial additives. That’s what their kind (and before that day) fed on – MSG, sweeteners and trans fats.
Years passed and I couldn’t resist my nature anymore – I had to eat what they called was healthy food. It was a nightmare. What it meant was all “normal” was not acceptable anymore – no french fries, no oily meat, not even beloved sandwiches. I was an alien, the target for constant jokes. In between lectures, I would roam the halls in search for something that would help me survive the day.
At some point I just stopped eating during the day, so everyone would think I was simply on a diet. Diet when you just say “no” to all food was more than okey back then. I was waiting for the darkness to come, so no one can see me going to the food store. They had to believe my diet story, my twisted passion for veggies couldn’t be exposed. Disowned by greasy society I ate my cucumbers silently at home. I lost the idea of who I was a human or something else.
I delved into books to understand if there were more creatures like me around. That’s how I realized all this time I had been a veganpire. Veganpires were the rare group who could not eat the trash food everyone was eating those days and only consumed plant-based meals.
Yet the struggle was still real. No Instagram to spread the message, no healthy blogs to find healthy tips, not even Facebook to find people like me. These were the days of stress and desperation. In search of the day snack in this gluten-driven and food-additives obsessed world, all I ever managed to get was soggy lettuce salad…
These years since the Halloween of 1999 been a nightmare for me. Recently, it all started to get better with more green options available in the stores and cafes. But it was still such a closed community. I still felt an outsider, a loner. I wasn't sure if veganpires like me existed.
There was only one chance to find out. I could not longer hold it, so I came out:
At The Jar we have happy endings and all our customers are welcome to enjoy the veganpire-friendly menu!
No more horror for the vegans and healthy-eaters!
Happy Halloween from The Jar Healthy Vending!